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Let me introduce you to Melon Girl. Are you socially awkward at parties? Let Melon Girl break the ice! Are you tired of looking like the chump who only brings a bag of chips to the pitch-in? Let Melon Girl establish your reputation as the next Martha Stewart (or Jamie Oliver). Are you looking for a way to impress the opposite sex? Melon Girl makes you look like a creative, fun person– which will be a sure hit with potential dates and mates.

Yes, take her to BBQ’s, church potlucks, and graduation parties, and you’ll be the talk of the soirée.

I made Melon Girl for Honeybun to take to a BBQ tonight and apparently she was a huge hit. So, now, let me tell you how you can create your own Melon Girl.

You will need the following tools:

• one large, Psycho-like knife
• one small pairing knife or a small knife with serrated edges
• one giant metal spoon
• one giant bowl
• one not-so giant bowl
• one melon baller
• some toothpicks or wooden kabob sticks
• an ink pen
• a cutting board
• a plate

You will need the following ingredients:

• a large watermelon with at least one good looking side
• two cantaloupes
• a honeydew
• other fruit (optional)
• lemon juice (optional)
• fresh, chopped mint leaves (optional)

Directions:

1. Using your Psycho-like knife, carefully cut a half inch sliver off the bottom on your watermelon to make it sit flat (Melon Girl does not like to roll around). Set this aside for later.
2. Using the same Psycho-like knife, lob off the top 1/4 of the watermelon. Set this aside for later.
3. Using the smaller knife, cut around the circumference between the rind (the white part) and the pink, fruit part.
4. Using your giant metal spoon, scoop out the fruit and place it in the giant bowl.
5. After the fruit is removed, use the metal spoon to scrape the inside smooth (like the inside of a jack-o-lantern).
6. Use the ink pen to draw/ scratch the outline Melon Girl’s facial features.
7. Using the small knife, cut her face out. Trim down the scraps from her eyes to make the eye balls.
8. Use a toothpick stabbed through the white part to attach the eye balls to the eye sockets.
9. If you’re feeling really creative, cut a flower or star out from the piece of watermelon you cut off the bottom. Use a toothpick to attach the flower to Melon Girl’s head. Leave part of the toothpick exposed for later.
10. Carefully place Melon Girl upside down on a plate to drain.
11. Using the smallest side of the melon baller, make melon balls from the watermelon. Don’t forget to use the fruit from the top of the watermelon, too. Put these melon balls into the smaller bowl.
12. Cut the cantaloupes and honeydew in half, scrape out and discard the seeds, and make more melon balls, adding them to the smaller bowl, too.
13. Carefully mix up the melon balls. If you want, you can add some lemon juice and chopped, fresh mint and other fruit.
14. Using the small knife, poke a dime sized hole in the bottom of Melon Girl. This is for drainage, so the fruit juice doesn’t pool up in the bottom of Melon Girl. From here on, though, she needs to stay on a plate.
15. Fill Melon Girl with the melon balls. Put the remaining balls on the plate.
16. Using one melon ball, cover up the exposed part of the toothpick on the Melon Girl’s head flower.
17. Take her to your party with the giant spoon, and enjoy the attention you both get.